When is enough actually enough?

“I am enough.”

It’s a powerful phrase that completely bowled over our first Reset attendees back on our June retreat. In amongst all the goal setting and ambitions and striving for more, in a moving yoga session Julie B reminded the women who joined that no matter what their plans for the future, they were already enough just as they were, right now.

This sentiment is a brilliant one to carry with us and a great mantra to have. I was really struck by how much it changed the women’s’ approach to themselves as they headed back home to reality – to not worry about trying to do more, but simply be accepting of where they were already.

I am enough.png

It made me realise how constantly I tell myself that I am not enough. That I have not done enough, worked hard enough, created enough, sold enough, been to the gym enough, stayed in touch enough… 

“There’s always more you could be doing.” 

I’ve noticed how often this phrase, along with “it’s not enough” has come up in my life:

I was brought up to believe I could always work harder. My sister and I learned musical instruments and I know for sure my mother (as a musician herself) believed we should really be doing more practise than we got away with. “Imagine what you could do if you practised more!” is definitely a phrase that’s been left ringing in my ears. 

I loved school and was fortunate enough to me in a class with super bright girls. We thrived on success and achieving good grades and definitely pushed each other. But I wonder… did that leave me feeling there was always more to do? I wasn’t always the best or the highest achiever, there was always more I could be doing when it came to studies…

My last full-time job was effectively sales [you can read more about my career in this blog post and this one too for an update]. The problem with sales is there is always more you can be doing. Ultimately as a middle-man agent no-one was calling me to ask for my business. I had to go out and sell my services to clients - orchestras in my case - and then sell my clients to promoters and venues.

The more I was on the phone, sending emails or turning up on people’s doorsteps, the more chance I had of making a sale. There was always more I could be doing. 

emma-matthews-558684-unsplash.jpg

But where does that leave me mentally? 

In some ways “there’s always more you could be doing” is a constant driver for me that I don’t want to lose. It makes me use every second of my time as efficiently as I can, it makes me look for opportunities, plan and perfect my blog posts and other content. 

However it’s a pretty brutal way of treating my mind. Because I’m always beating myself up that I should be doing more. It’s quite a negative way to think and instils in my head a sense of failure constantly, with no possibility of ever feeling like I’ve had a win. And thinking about failure isn’t exactly a great mindset I think we’d all agree.  

So I’ve decided: enough is enough.

Doing anything, no matter how great the outcome, from a negative place is not sustainable. So I am committing going forward that when my mind creeps up on me with this phrase:

“It’s not enough” 

I will reply:

“I am enough” 

And when it says:

“There’s more you could be doing”

I am going to say:

“I am doing an incredible amount and I’m absolutely nailing it”

So that’s two new affirmations for me. I’m definitely not saying that’s going to fix me forever, but I’ve honestly found affirmations and mantras a powerful way to rewire my brain for positive thinking. And when it comes to these two toxic phrases I think it’s about time to kick some butt and get them out of my head. 

The affirmations that I have I use in the following ways:

  • I record myself saying them on the Voice Memo function on my phone. I listen back to these when I’m walking or travelling on the bus or tram. 
     
  • I print them out and put them on my Vision Board
     
  • I write them out in note-books and journals so I see them as I’m flicking through 

 

What do you think? Is this a phrase you struggle with too? How do you overcome "I am not enough"? 

If you're interested in exploring affirmations - positive statements to help rewire your brain for more happiness - then we run a free 21 Days of Affirmations email series over on The Reset. You can sign up here any time. 

Pin to Pinterest to save for later: 

Stop saying it's not enough | The Flourishing Pantry.png